Seder 2011

Things to Buy

• Matza!
• Yams. Beets.
• 1 fresh Baby (non-jewish)
• Horseradish. Parsley.
• Romaine lettucs
• Orange.

Things to Cook

• Everything

Things to Read

• maybe
• definitely
• from partly, from eszter.com
• for nico
• probably not

Margin Notes and Other Commentary on the Things to Read

Page 24 of the velveteenrabbi Haggadah has "Arov" translated as "insect swarms". This is clearly too similar to Locusts. God would never have made the mistake of creating two similar plagues. That would be like wearing clashing colors to a fashion show. Therefore I propose that "Arov" be retranslated as "Horde of Dragons" as that fits with the theme of both of the common translations, "swarm" and "beasts".

All references to "lamb shank" shall be henceforth stricken from the record and replaced with "yam shank". It's like a makeshift prison weapon made out of sweet potato.

Eliyahu Hanavi (Elijah the Prophet) may alternately be called Eliyahu Anavim (Elijah the Grapes).

The optional sixth, seventh, and eighth cups of wine that the book forgot to mention are not actually optional. Only godless heathens leave them out of this most sacred ceremony.

"The Haroset Song" on page 33 is not an actual Passover song. They just made that one up.

Schedule

Shopping in Brookline : for fun!

1. Final cooking (1.5 hrs)
2. Hagada & reclining (back and to the left) (1.5 hrs)
3. Meal (1.5 hrs)
4. Last 2 cups & reclining & song (and dance!) (1.5 hrs)